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"I will tell of all Your wonders, |
"So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him." |
It's spring 2010 and I'm in the middle of a divorce. My wife has falsely accused me of abusing our two children. After two separate reports to Children and Youth Services were determined to be unfounded she filed a report with the police.
Last March after having about a year of clean time I let the pressure get to me and was once again struggling with porn. Seeing as I lost a job in 2005 for viewing porn at work I went to my employer and asked for a filter on my laptop. After a lengthy search of my laptop and deliberation they decided that there were times I needed my laptop unfiltered to do my job and that if I could disable the filter there was no difference then not having a filter and they determined I could not do the job they were paying me for but they would try to help me find another job in the company. Despite her knowledge of all this my wife continues to tell people that I was fired from this job as well as two others for looking at porn. I have been unable to find work since last April and am now at the point where I am having to call creditors and tell me I cannot make payments.
Two weeks ago I was given an EKG as a screening for a clinical drug trial which would have paid me $550 and they said my EKG was abnormal and they could not take me and suggested I take the EKG to my doctor and, of course, not having a job I don't have health insurance or a doctor.
Despite all this my purpose in writing this is first and foremost to tell of God's faithfulness. I continue to find alternate sources of income. I do have an interview tonight and am going to a job fair tomorrow. A lie detector test has concluded I did not harm my children. I found a doctor in town who charges $20 for an office visit for people without insurance and he was able to give me a prescription for antibiotics which a local pharmacy filled for free. That due to the fact that some bad teeth I have are likely connected with my heart problem. And lastly, by God's grace I have been able to keep clean for 93 days now. I now that's a long way from the 12 months clean time I once had but I am trusting God one day a time and I am learning more and more each day how faithful he is.
Flash forward to June 2010. News breaks that a nurse was being accused of having falsified or exaggerated descriptions of sexual abuse in her reports. The district attorney was asking judges to review any cases involving reports from this nurse. As you probably have guessed this was the nurse who examined my daughter and filed the child sex abuse report. As a result of the review the judge ruled that instead of the indefinite period of supervised visitation I would have three months of supervised visits followed by at least six months of unsupervised visits, but still requiring me to make the 4 hour trip to where my wife moved. After the six months I can appeal for overnight visits. That was the first prayer answered.
So my three months of supervised visits are coming to a close. Having to make the trips was not easy considering my lack of funds but I was able to get family to supervise so at least I was not having to pay someone to do that. Knowing that my six months of unsupervised visits will extend through the winter a big concern was where I would spend my six hour visits with my kids. I found a hotel in the area of the visits that has a meeting room which they normally rent out for $50 for 2 hours but the manager was willing to give me for $20 per visit. That was my second prayer answered.
Then just this week I received a job offer which was pretty much out of the blue. I had conducted a phone interview with this company about three weeks ago and they said they liked me and would contact HR to schedule an onsite interview. After three weeks of hearing nothing I assumed that door was closed when yesterday I got a call and they made me an offer without my ever having a face to face interview. I start Sep 20 and will be making a little more than I was previously making. This was the third prayer answered.
These were just the big miracles. Also thrown in there are things like paid clinical drug trials I have been able to take part in which supplemented unemployment and the opportunity to develop some more friendships which are helping to stabilize me emotionally and spiritually.
My walk in recovery has not been without struggles and that is a concern since viewing porn at work has gotten me fired and played into my being let go from my last job, but I know that God is faithful and has been taking me through these trials for a purpose which will lead to his glory.
Keith W